All I Want for Christmas is a Moustache (and Stache Accessories)

Restoration Hardware doesn't really carry much that interests me these days. Not sure why I was looking through their gift section online, but I stumbled upon this very affordable set of fake moustaches ($5 for a set of seven). These things would look pretty good with a shirt from the "Stache Shirt Shop".

Meet Eugene Hutz...

Eugene Hutz. Cool name. Cooler moustache.

He's the front man for Gogol Bordello, "a gypsy punk band fusing supercharged folk influences with a sideshow cabaret". No idea what that means, but I'm interested.

Eugene is starring in a new movie called "Filth and Wisdom". Great title. Still interested.

The name of his character is "A.K.". Very cool. Still interested.

The movie is written and directed by Madonna. Um...

*Pic snatched from No Answer Is Still An Answer Blog

Would You Like Some Cheese With That Stache?

This is my college buddy, Dave. He's from Albuquerque, but you wouldn't know it to see him now. He's obviously undergone some kind of a transformation. He lives in Paris these days, which is pretty cool and all, but has the immersion in frog culture finally started to get under his skin? I mean - I too have graduated from Natty Light on to some of the finer things in life, like a nice bottle of red. But a Euro-Stache? People who wear the Euro-Stache also frolic on public beaches wearing Euro-Speedos. It's a slipperly slope, old friend.

Cuban Responds to Malone Rumors

Mark Cuban is nothing if not accessible, so when I went directly to him to get his take on the rumor that Karl Malone might want to make a comeback with the Mavericks, I had a feeling he'd get back to me. After all, people wanna know...as evidenced by my story being picked up by the two biggest blogs in Dallas (here and here). So is there any interest at all in Malone? Since I want to be completely fair, I'll reprint Cuban's email response to that question in it's entirety right here: "no."
End of story? Who knows.

Karl Malone - Bringing His Stache to Dallas?

Is 45-year old Karl Malone still thinking about the ring he doesn't have? I was just eating a burger at Houlihan's in Addison (Dallas-area) when I saw a guy who I immediately recognized to be Malone. He's been out of the league for a few years, but he never did get that championship. What business does he have in Dallas right now? With Dallas Maverick's training camp ramping up, it got me thinking...is it possible he's looking to try one more time...and with the Mavs? Surely he could play a few minutes here and there and bruise with the young bucks. We could use someone with a little physicality.

He looked to be in good shape, by the way. With a baseball hat covering his bald dome, he looked about ten years younger too.

The Stache Jumps the Shark

Matthew McConaughey (don't know if it's spelled right - don't care) probably thinks he's doing the moustache world a favor by sporting this thing. Not so much.

I'm glad he's a Longhorn and not a Sooner.

Prince Fielder: Chops Done Right

I don't think the chops are an everyday fixture for Prince Fielder, but they should be. A good stache will usually stand on it's own, but there are some that don't really turn to gold until they get an accessory. Lose the crooked hat and the peace sign. Keep the chops and the grin.

Giambi Brings Back the Stache...Beats Red Sox

Maybe I'm oversimplifying things here, but it seems to me Giambi brought back the stache, then he single-handedly beat Boston. With the Yankees struggling as a team to stay in the wild card race, one man (Giambi) didn't seem to have any trouble:

a.) hitting a homer in the 7th inning to tie the ballgame, and then b.) driving in the go-ahead run in the bottom of the 9th inning

Fist bumps all around.

Hugs too, for those that want one.

Tiger likes what he sees...contemplates growing out a stache.

FYI - lots of sweet stache shirts available...CLICK HERE.

Stache (on a stick)

Emailer "The Kev" (that's how he signed his email - swear) writes in to let me know that he was leading the fake stache movement back before my website here was born (i.e. two weeks ago). I gotta give some style points for the fedora (very complimentary to the stache). Plus, he grew his own just for the occasion which you can see peeking out from below the fake-stache-on-a-stick.

But wait...with the real stache now isolated...is it possible that he's managed to make both the Hall of Fame and Shame on the same night? Me thinks it's a thumbs up when the stache-on-a-stick is in play...thumbs down for the home-grown.


The Kev's bro. Is that a fruit bat or a stache?

Today is 8/13 was my day

Head on over to http://www.fakemustaches.org/ to confirm that yeah, I'm kinda famous. For today anyway. As far as those in the fake moustache world are concerned. That's a big group of people, right?

UPDATE: It's still a cool site, but I'm not on the front page anymore.

Everything But the Stache?!?

Clearly I'm being messed with. Why would Ramon grow out the naked goat? I'm done talking.


UPDATE: I think I coined a new phrase with "naked goat". My definition is pending approval has been approved by the editors at www.UrbanDictionary.com

"Naked Goat: A goatee grown without any accompanying hair above the mouth (i.e. no stache). A Soul Patch in and of itself does not qualify as a "naked goat" because it is normally not substantial enough to require an accompanying stache for the sake of aesthetic balance."

Bring Back the Fro?

I hadn't really considered the power of the fro. Warner Madrigal is still trying to establish himself as a major leaguer, but he took another step in the right direction tonight. All he did was pitch a no-hit inning smack dab in the middle of one of the biggest slugfests in recent memory (Texas lost to Boston 17-19...Yikes). Prior to tonight, my favorite thing about seeing MadDog enter the game was the fro. It peeked out of the bottom of his cap on all sides in a way that I hoped reflected a larger can't-contain-the-crazy kind of personality. The kind of crazy that closers often exhibit. Time will tell.


That is a great look though, no?

No. The answer is still "no".

How long could I possibly go on blogging about the power of the stache before I attempted to grow mine out again? Might I be able to finally grow something halfway decent? I hadn't tried in quite a while and some hair has started growing in weird places since I last made an attempt (plucking more than just my eyebrows these days...). Anyway, I got about four days into this stinker before I realized the answer is still "no". No, I can't grow one. No, I shouldn't try.

Challenge: Spread the Word...Play to Win!

The Challenge:
The first person who creates his or her own "Bring Back the Stache.com" poster and makes it on screen for more than two full seconds during an offical television broadcast of an NFL, MLB, NBA or NHL game wins.

The Prize:
A shirt of your choice from my store, of course.

A Few Rules:
1. It's gotta be a tight shot of you onscreen during the game to qualify...you can't be a speck in the middle of a big crowd. A post-game show is easy to get on, so that doesn't count...unless of course you manage to get interviewed on camera while holding your sign.
2. The sign has to be perfectly legible on screen (including the ".com" part).
3. Be sure to tivo the game before you head to the game. You'll need to provide the proof to win the challenge.
4. Wearing a fake moustache is not a requirement, however, why would you not?

I accomplished this on my first and second trys, so it can't be that difficult. Get crackin!

Submit your entry to dan@BringBackTheStache.com

UPDATE: Thanks to Yankee Sam for giving it his best shot at Saturday's game. A New York transplant in LA, he had no luck drawing the cameras his way as the Yanks eventually got drilled by the Angels. However...is it any wonder that Giambi went deep with the "Bring Back the Stache.com" sign on the premises?!? Still no contest winner though.

UPDATE II: I'm not actively promoting this contest at the moment, but it's still open for anyone who has what it takes. If you get on TV with your "Bring Back the Stache.com" sign...go ahead and send me vid-proof and I'll send over your shirt.

Stache Clash Series Ends in a Draw

Yanks win and halve the series with the Rangers. I hate ties. It's like kissing your sister through a screen door. That's what my dad always told me. Speaking of, this is as good a time as any to show you a picture of my dad (with my mom). I've already established the fact that I can't grow good facial hair. So do you think I like looking at this when I visit home? The stache alone would be a point of jealousy, but he throws in the billy goat just to rub my face in it. Love you too, Pop.

Clash of the Stache IV - Where's Mike?

Gametime is quickly approaching for the final installment of this Rangers/Yankees homestand. I won't be in the stands tonight, but for those with a keen eye, my buddy (Mike) will be sitting in the front row behind the Ranger's on-deck circle wearing a white shirt with the "bring back the stache" design. Anyone who catches him on-screen and emails me a screen grab will get their name up in lights. Uh-huh. You read that right. (dan@bringbackthestache.com)

UPDATE: Anyone else get a chill when they saw Vazquez and Giambi together on first base? So much stache mojo in one place that you gotta try not to stare. It's like a solar eclipse...take a quick glance and then look away.


UPDATE II: Who is that guy in the crowd behind Crush Davis? The guy texting somebody as Ramon Vazquez approaches the plate. The guy not wearing his fake stache. The guy not holding up his "Bring Back the Stache" poster. Oh, that's my buddy, Mike. Found him.

UPDATE III: Might not have been any love for the "Bring Back the Stache" sign tonight, but Ramon sure had a hell of a night at the plate. And I love this freaking guy with the Vazquez sign. Look at the crazy eyes. And the hard-hat? I had one exactly like that when I was a kid. Wish I still had it. Didn't even know they still made em, but now I must have one.

Stache Clash III - Giambi takes it

Tough Ranger loss. Good time though. Got lots of text messages telling me that the local broadcast was steering clear of the stache tonight for the most part. However, it looks like the YES network gave me some airtime which resulted in thousands of site visits. There's no need to act like my sign had nothing to do with Giambi's jack in the 4th. I didn't swing the bat, sure, but cmon. If anyone tivoed the YES feed - send over a screen grab of me from the sixth inning and I'll be your friend. (UPDATE: Thanks, Fred!) Also, there was a girl in pink sitting about five rows in front of me who snapped some pics looking up my way. Send em over and I'll post them (dan@bringbackthestache.com)



Shout out to Rachel and Eric who were sitting behind me and my crew toward the end of the game. Fine young couple with a common interest in body paint, but conflicting views regarding American league ball clubs. They both look good in a stache as it turns out, so I like their chances over the long haul.


Finally, I guess I'll go ahead and call myself out before anyone beats me to it. I visited the Ranger's Live set on the way out of the stadium and I've rarely looked like more of a tool on television than I did just then. Knoxy found me during the fan Q&A session with Mark McClemore and fed me a question to ask. I would've much rather preferred to ask Mark about his subtle fu-manchu, but I decided to play ball and stick to the script. Not one of my finer moments, but I did get Knox to wear a stache while he asked me the question. Here's a screen grab (thanks Matt). In an odd follow-up, Knoxy ran me down coming out of the stadium and tried to return the stache to me. "That one's yours for the scrapbook, Knoxy."

See the video that started it all...

For those that might still be hesitant to embrace the concept of the stache as a real and powerful force, here is a short video clip that should put any lingering doubts to rest. The simple chain of events in this clip are as follows:

1. During a Ramon Vazquez at-bat on July 31st, Josh Lewin acknowledges me and my sign, while Tom Grieve chuckles (he likes the fake stache)
2. The camera focuses in on Ramon's bygone stache on the jumbotron as Josh continues to talk viewers though the history behind the stache
3. Jamey Wright is seen administring the finger stache from the bullpen
4. Me and my sign appear on the screen
5. Not five seconds later - homerun. Note the play on words in Josh's call ("That one will NOT be brought back!")

Watch closely as the proof is most certainly in this video puddin:

"Bring Back the Stache" (a website is born!) from Dan on Vimeo.

Clash of the Stache III (I'll be there...so will ESPN)

So far this week, Rangers: 2 Yankees: 0.....time for round #3

Prepare yourselves for a Stache Clash of epic proportions

I will be at the game with my "Bring Back the Stache" sign, so watch for me and my fake moustache 13 rows up along the first base line between the dugout and the foul pole. Assuming I don't get overserved by the beer man, the sign should be out whenever Ramon (or Giambi) is at the plate.

Let me make this clear...I'm not rooting for Giambi to succeed per se...it's all about spreading stache awareness. As much as I love the Rangers, stache power is transcendent. Finding balance might very well be a lifelong struggle.

UPDATE: ESPN has picked up tonight's game. Should be electric at the Ballpark.

UPDATE II: I came, I saw, I rocked the stache

It's gametime over...Rangers win...again!

Yankees vs. Rangers

Giambi vs Ramon

Stache Clash

The fireworks were out last night...what will tonight hold in store?

UPDATE: Neither stache in the starting line-up? Let's hope tonight isn't completely stache-free.

UPDATE II: Ramon steps to the plate...Jamey Wright administers the finger stache from the bullpen...and...walk. Giambi walks too. Yawn.

Not everyone can grow a killer stache

This world is made up of two types of men - those who can grow a killer moustache and those who wish they could. I fall into the latter group. I've been holding out hope for a lot of years that someday things would get better, but I think I'll let go of that dream as I turn 34 years old next month. The hair on my upper lip is wiry and sparse. And it always will be. I look like a complete grease ball if I stop shaving for about four days. If I try to stick it out for a week or two and really grow it out, it gets itchy and irritated. See the dirt on my upper-lip in the pic here? Anything more than that and I'm really pushing my luck.

To make things worse, I have some good friends who can grow a killer moustache at will. Exhibit A, my buddy Ric. He grew out this gem last year. Notice how the double-exposure photography really helps to draw your focus right under his nose where it belongs. In the 15 odd years I've known Ric, he has only grown out his stache a few times. He's got a gift and he knows to use it sparingly for maximum effect.


Here's another college buddy of mine, Brent. I can't say that I was ever a big fan of any of his facial hair experiments during our time in school together. Then, years later, he pulls this look out of nowhere. I thought only cartoon moustaches could look that sweet.




And here's my buddy, Josh. A bit of a pallette-cleanser before you move on to the next blog entry. Proof that just because you can grow out a nice, thick stache, it doesn't mean you should. Although, if I could, I'd grow mine out once a year whether I needed to or not.

The Finger Stache

Everytime Ramon is at-bat, you can pay tribute to his long lost stache by placing either forefinger between your nose and upper-lip for the duration. The Ranger's bullpen never misses a chance to put the finger stache on display. Notice Jamey Wright's subtle technique. Solid.

You picked a fine time to shave your stache, Giambi

To have Giambi shave his prolific stache just days before rolling into town...it complicates things a little. In the fourth inning, with pro-Giambi "Bring Back the Stache" signs all around...of course he went deep. Very deep. Upper-deck deep.

I should've known coming into this Rangers/Yankees series that there was a danger of wires getting crossed. A clean-shaven Giambi has a lot of desperate Yankee fans adopting the "Bring Back the Stache" mantra. This makes things a little tricky for me over the next few days. On one hand, I'm a Ranger fan through and through, so the Giambi homer makes me sick. But then there's another little part of me that gets a kick out of seeing the power of the stache introduced to a much larger audience (by any means necessary). When you grow out or get rid of a stache, you can't be assured that the effect will necessarily be good or bad. You only know that there will be electricity. I expect a lot of fireworks as the rest of this series plays out. With Giambi and Vazquez in the same ballpark, it's a perfect storm.

With moustache power on our minds, to a certain small degree, I guess I can actually identify with the Yankee fans for once. We've got a little common ground. So whichever team you're rooting for, I hope you'll enjoy the new white-on-black Stache Power shirt design (look on the bar on the right).

UPDATE: Rangers win on a Marlon Byrd walk-off Grand Slam! Who likes to win with a walk-off more than these Rangers?

"The Ramon". That's what you call it.

Ten feet tall on the jumbotron - every home at bat.

Gotta love it.

Ramon...look up at the jumbotron

A movement is started...

On July 31st, I took my sign and my fake moustache to the Ranger game. I know in my heart of hearts that if Ramon Vazquez would just set his vanity aside and grow his stache back out, the Rangers would be unstoppable. But would other Ranger fans agree? I was pleasantly surprised with the overwhelmingly positive response. The jumbotron guy seemed to approve - he could hardly keep his camera off of me. The powers that be at the Ballpark made me a finalist in the "best sign" contest. Josh and Tom gave me some props on the TV broadcast. It was a pretty sweet sign, so I can't say I was totally shocked with all of the attention that came my way. However, nothing could prepare me for the supernatural power of the Stache that became evident during the 8th inning. The Rangers were being shutout by a hapless Seattle team late in the game. As Ramon worked through his at-bat, Tom and Josh gave a brief history of the legend of the stache...then they showed me, my stache and my sign (see pic)...then not 5 seconds later....homerun! The timing was just too remarkable to ignore. Join me, Ranger fans...let your voices be heard...Bring Back the Stache!!!